With all these people keeping tabs and blogging about the New Hampshire primaries, I feel like, as a native New Hampshire dweller currently sitting here, I should add my own observations.
It's warm as hell.
My high school is being taken over by Mitt Romney supporters.
A giant Ron Paul sign kept me from getting any cellphone service at a creepy convenience store on the side of the road the other night.
And seriously, it's warm as hell. Tonight's low is 22. In January. I know politics, by nature, especially Republican politics, tend to generate a lot of hot air, but this is just ridiculous.
Could it be Ron Paul? The space infront of his abnormally large sign was the only place in Exeter the other night that didn't have service. Even my car had trouble starting...though, that's not really that unusual. But seriously! As soon as I managed to pull away from the sign, my phone had power again! If Ron Paul's sign can do that, imagine what sort of strange, evil, reality warping powers the man himself must possess? He must be the one changing the weather! I knew it had something to do with the primaries! That must be it!
Deep down, beyond that old, conservative, white guy exterior, Ron Paul is, in fact, Slender Man.
DRAMATIC MUSIC!
Or, possibly Cthulhu. One or the other.
MORE DRAMATIC MUSIC!
This, ladies and gentlemen, is what's really going down here in New Hampshire this primary season. Take that as you will.
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