Sunday, August 5, 2012

In Which I Am Employed

Today I began my illustrious career as a Residential Safety booth babe. 

My job is very simple. If someone doesn't have a student ID and they want to get into the residence hall, they talk to me, and I swipe them in. I then write them down, and hope they're not here to murder whoever it is they're going in to see. During the day, I imagine this might actually require some work since residence halls do tend to attract quite a lot of people who want get in and visit other people, but of course, I'm not working during the day.

I work from midnight to eight AM, a time slot that actually works very well for me as I'm essentially nocturnal and I get paid more. I'm sitting in a booth with a broken television trying to tell myself that this is less horrifying than working at the hardware store due to having a chair to sit in and the ability to use the internet. No one has asked me to ring out 150 individual sockets yet, so I suppose I should be grateful. 

The booth I was assigned to is in Enterprise Hall, which I lived in during my sophomore year and looks nothing at all like I remember it. They've changed the entryway, the turnstile, the sort of lame half-lounge they had by the front, and replaced the vending machines with brand new leather couches. It's distressing, but in a way, kind of nice. The old Enterprise Hall is where I lived, the new one is where I work. For some reason, I find the distinction important. 

Since it's August and the university is in between summer semesters, the hall isn't currently home to rowdy, drunk college students, but to a high school Christian camp from Texas. Despite their inherent lack of ability to use their swipe cards to get through the damn turnstile, none of them have really caused me any problems. They do seem to have a habit of leaving their keys in their room and locking themselves out, but I'm sure that has more to do with the fact that they're in high school than it does with their love of Jesus. 

I spent most of my shift watching the X-Files on Netflix, but I did have a nice conversation with one of the campers about the weather in Texas at around four thirty in the morning. I mentioned that in the few times I'd ever been to Texas I'd experienced some of the most oppressive weather on the face of the planet, even worse than that time I spent in an Israeli desert, and for the most part, the girl seemed to agree. I asked her about the camp she was participating in, and was pleased that she never once asked me about my own religious beliefs. 

It is now eight AM, and technically speaking, I'm due to be done now. Some water has just dripped onto my head from the ceiling, which is interesting considering this building is fourteen stories high and it's not raining out. I'm left wondering what would happen if Jesus was forced to go through the Enterprise turnstile, and if he would have as much difficulty swiping in as his high school followers seem to. I like to think he'd just walk straight through the wall, but then, I suppose that's why I work at a safety booth and not at a Christian camp. 

All in all, it's been a decent first day. Now if only my relief would show up. 

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